Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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