you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize