I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize