I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize