I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
