Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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