I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
