I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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