I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
