I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
