I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
