thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
