doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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