Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My vagina is very pro this idea
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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