This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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