Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize