I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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