hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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