but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
