On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The air was thick with penises
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
