I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize