: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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