Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't deserve a penis
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
