Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So squirting runs in the family.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
