sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I sprained my soul last night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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