I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
