This girl is more easily done than said...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
