Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
