You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
