You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
