I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
