Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
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I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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