just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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