I'm going to jail i love you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
