so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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