Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
