He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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