We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
