i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
