I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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