Acid is not a monday night drug
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
