There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
