You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?