I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina