i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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