I wanna bring you to show and tell
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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