i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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