I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
