I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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