whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
