I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
