If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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