TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
