she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
