weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
