I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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