Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
