Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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