dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
