You're my little dorito
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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